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Holiday Date Finder: How to Find a Fun Date Fast

© Randy Hurlburt

It's not necessary to suffer from the holiday blues. This can be a happy time of year, even for singles. So what can you do to not feel lonely and to "beat the blues"?

Start by counting your blessings. Health, family, friends, food on the table - many in the world and even in our own communities don't have these basics. If you do, be thankful, give to your favorite charity, and consider all the advantages of being single (free to do what you want, when you want, no need to pick up your clothes (or his clothes), etc.).

But suppose you are single, and happy being so, but presently have no serious relationship? What can you do to find a fun date fast?

First, let's be clear that our purpose is to have fun. Finding a "life partner" fast is usually not realistic. Therefore in finding a holiday date it isn't necessary (or even desirable) to look for someone who is highly attractive to you or closely aligned with your requirements for a long term relationship. Should you happen to find your life partner during this season, consider it a lucky break, not an objective.

Second, it's important to be clear on what you want the holiday date for. Is it to accompany you to a business holiday party? Is it for New Year's Eve? Is it for sex? Is it to go to a movie? Different activities may indicate different "specifications" for your date.

Once you have settled on the specific activity or event that you wish to find a date for, then consider all the options regarding who and where to look. Here is a partial list of people and places you might not have thought of before:

Go to a singles event
Singles organizations such as Sierra Singles, Single Volunteers, Athletic Singles etc. frequently have holiday events. This is a good time to join or attend as a guest. If you apply the principle of finding a "fun date" and not trying to quickly find your life partner, there should be ample opportunities here.
Date a family member or friend
Wouldn't it be nice to have fun with one of your kids, your brother or sister, mother or father, or a friend? Take this opportunity to have fun with them and get to know them better by breaking your usual pattern with them and go out to a dinner and play, etc.
Date out of your league
We get so focused on finding "the one," wouldn't it be fun to take a break and date someone significantly older or younger, of a different race or gender, etc, than usual? Remember, this doesn't have to be someone you would choose for long term, so why not date someone dramatically different from your usual pattern?
Date a loser
Search personal ads for the most pathetic lost soul you can find who would be happy to go out for a little fun and let loose, knowing it's a one-time thing. Someone who you wouldn't ordinarily consider dating in a million years. Who knows? You might have fun and learn something about yourself and the human race.
Post a contest on Craig's List
Post a "Win a date with me!" contest. Entrants submit a description of what they propose to do on their date with you, and you choose the one that seems the most fun. Remember, this is for fun, NOT for the purpose of finding a long term relationship!
Place a newspaper ad
This can be an alternative to "Craig's List" for those who want to run a contest but are not internet savvy. Or it could be a window to "dating out of your league." Whatever you decide to do, make it for fun.
Try an escort service
If you're in a hurry, and don't mind the cost, you can "rent" a date. You think nothing of renting a car when you don't have one, so why not do the same for a date? Remember that escorts are people too, may offer a perspective you wouldn't otherwise have, and can be a lot of fun!
Go to church
This is the right time of year to renew your religious beliefs, or to try new ones. Almost all neighborhoods have churches, many churches have singles groups, and churches are usually very welcoming to strangers. Choose a denomination that works for you.
Ask friends or family to set you up
Yes, I know, blind dates don't usually work out. But we are talking here about having fun. Your network certainly knows lots of single people, many of whom would also be happy to have a fun date for the holidays. Let me stress again that it is not necessary for these dates to be serious or have long-term potential.
Make an inventory of holiday activities
Become the expert on what's going on in your area over the holidays. As the "Fountain of Information," you will become the center of conversation. If you bring up an idea that they like, maybe they will invite YOU to go! Or if you get a "green light" from someone you are mildly interested in, you can invite them.
Join a dating service
Maybe this is just the "Christmas present" you have been wanting to give yourself but hadn't yet identified in your mind. Whether it is an online dating service such as Match.com or an in-person service such as Great Expectations, one advantage is instant exposure. But don't try to find your match over the holidays; that will just increase stress and disappointment. Find a date and have fun!
Date your ex
It's not as crazy as you might think! If you have a cordial relationship with an ex, why not? You know each other well and know how to have fun together.

My thanks to contributing author David Steele, founder of the Relationship Coaching Institute. His book, Conscious Dating, can be seen at www.loveisnotagame.com/books.htm.
Free Introductory Coaching: I offer coaching services worldwide to singles, and to couples on the brink. Coaching can help you find a date for fun or for long-term. If you would like to improve your dating and relationship skills, contact me for a free initial consultation. This consultation will focus on giving you ideas to help in your relationship life, and there is no obligation. My coaching email is randy@loveisnotagame.com. As a part of the free initial consultation I will give you an electronic copy of the article "How To Avoid The Twelve Dating Traps" published by the Relationship Coaching Institute. You can learn more about my coaching services at loveisnotagame.com.

About the Author
"Connecting what you want with what you need to know" Internationally acclaimed coach, speaker, and author Randy Hurlburt shows you how to achieve what you want in your dating and relationship life. Whether you want a soulmate or a lover, he can help you know how and where to look. Randy says most couples get together for the wrong reasons and break up for the wrong reasons, so find out how to break this cycle, and don't leave your love to chance.

Daring to speak the truth about love, Randy's out-of-the-box solutions to relationship issues have been featured in as widely diverse media as NBC TV and Playboy Radio. Randy is author of the award wining book Love Is Not A Game (But You Should Know the Odds). Feel free to send him questions at randy@loveisnotagame.com.

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