Dirty Pick Up Lines

These dirty pick up lines make you go hmmmm ;) Use these at your own risk! Who knows.. you may get a wink, a sexy response, or even... . But then again, using these dirty pick up lines in real life may just get you a slap. Nevertheless, read, get a laugh. ;)

1. You must work at KFC, cause you have nice breasts!
2. Some women can take their bra off while wearing a shirt, can you do that?
3. I can take my pants off in 2 seconds. Let's see how long it takes you.
4. I have an instrument that can measure the length of your throat.
5. Baby, I'm like a Rubix Cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.
6. I'm not horse, but you can ride me like one.
7. Just you and me babe. We're nothing but mammals. So let's do it like they do it on Discovery Channel.
8. Do you work for Fed-Ex? (No.) Really? I thought I saw you checking out my 'package'!
9. You should pretend my legs are made of butter and spread them.
10. Is your dad the muffin man? Because you sure do give me a banana cream filling.
11. Screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Mary?
12. Do you like to play pool? (Yeah, why?) Cause I have the balls if you got the rack!
13. If were to drop this coin, what's the chances of me getting head?
14. Want to play carpenters? First we get hammered, then nailed.
15. If you were homework, I would slam you on the table and do you right now.
16. Do you want to see what really put that whole in the titanic?
17. Hey do you want to hook up?
    [No, I have a boyfriend!]
    I have a goldfish.
    [What?]
    Oh, I thought we were just talking about shit that doesn't matter.
18. Are you little red ridinghood? Because I want to ride you into the woods.
19. Excuse me, Mr.UPS, I couldn't help notice that big package you have and I am willing to take care of it for you.
20. Can you show me the way to the dam, I need to make sure your river is flowing.
21. Are you egyptian? Because you put a pyramid in my pants.
22. Lets pretend your right leg is Christmas and your left leg is New Year, Can I vist you in between the holidays?
23. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
24. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
25. My name is [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.
26. Would you like Gin and Platonic, or Scotch and Sofa?
27. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
28. What's the weather like outside? [Why?] Because there's a high pressure point behind my zipper.
29. I want to violate you like a parking meter.
30. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? [No, why?] 'Cause I can see me in your pants.
31. You want me. I can smell it.
32. Is your daddy a farmer? [No, why?] Because you really know how to raise a cock.
33. Is your name Jasmine? [No. Why?] Cause I want you to be Jasmine to my little Aladdin.
34. That shirt looks very becoming on you, and if I were on you I'd be cumming too!
35. [Note: for use when someone you know is getting married] Hi, I'm throwing the bachelor/bachelorette party for a friend of mine, and I need a stripper. Interested?
36. Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No.] Then wink.
37. You know, we were born without clothes.
38. Is that a keg in your pants? [No, why?] Cause I'm trying to tap that.
39. Lick your finger and touch her shirt. Then do the same to yourself and say "What do you say we get out of these wet clothes?"
40. You're like a squirrel... quick to get a nut.
41. Do you work at Subway? [No, why?] Because you just gave me a 12 incher!
42. You've been a bad boy! Now go to MY room!
43. Is that a mirror in your pocket? [Why?] Because I can see myself in your pants.
44. My guns are locked and loaded and they are aimed right at that fine ass!
45. Stout as a house and thick as a brick, you're so fine, you make tylenol sick.
46. How many bones are in the human body? [They either will say 206 or I dont know] Want another one?
47. Smile, if you want to sleep with me.
48. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your jeans.
49. The word of the day is legs...lets go back to my place and spread the word!
50. You would look great on my pillow tomorrow morning.
51. I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
52. Lets name one of your legs Thanksgiving and the other Christmas. That way I can come visit you between the holidays.
53. Girl, you're so fine, let me hit it from behind.
54. Did you wash your clothes in Windex? [No, why?] Because I can see myself in your pants.
55. I'd like to butter those muffins!
56. Let's play pinocchio. You sit on my face and I'll tell you lies.
57. Did you come from hell? Cause your ass is hot!
58. Are you bored? [No, why?] Because i really want to nail you.
59. What has 146 teeth and can hold back the incredible hulk? [What?] My zipper.
60. Did you fart? Cuase you blew me away.
61. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
62. I like your pants. Do you think i can talk you out of them?
63. My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
64. I love every bone in your body. Especially mine.
65. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
66. Do these look real?
67. Have you ever seen a girl swallow an entire banana? [wink, wink]
68. Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?
69. It's not the size of the boat. It's the motion of the ocean.
70. If you were a wedgie, I'd pick you!
71. Do you sleep on your stomach? [yes/no] Can I?
72. I'm not feeling myself today, can I feel you?
73. If you were my homework, I'd be doing you right now.
74. Are you a light switch? Cause I want to turn you on!
75. Want to go for some pizza and sex? [No.] What? You don't like pizza?
76. I like your pants, but they'd look better on my bedroom floor.