I've been married for 14 years and known my wife for 19. To keep this short, there are two major problems I have:

1) She is still the maturity level of the 22 year old I married: Helpless; not that bright; unworldly. For example when we moved recently, she couldn't figure out how to find a dentist for our kids. Example 2: She wouldn' t know the name of our nation's Vice President, but could name every house member on Big Brother 6.

2) She's gotten fat. Not a few extra pounds, I mean she is now clinically obese. (I looked up the definition.) Somehow though it is MY problem that I'M not attracted to her anymore. It is also MY fault she is overweight. (If I was more supportive she could lose weight no problem.)

So here is where I'm at. I dislike talking to her because she has nothing intelligent to say. I'm no longer attracted to her because...well you know.

She's really caring as a person and a great mother, so I feel like I SHOULD still care more. So the question is...has anyone been to this level of dispair in their relationship and got the magic back? I just can't imagine it happening so I'd be encouraged by ANY good stories along these lines. We went to a counselor who focused on teaching my wife to better express herself. Said another way, she turned my nice wife into a nagging b#*@tch which of course made things worse. Luckily we dropped that counselor and she got it out of her system.

P.S. To all people out there. Starting a sentence with "I feel..." does NOT automatically make the rest of the sentence polite or constructive!