How to make her realize the truth.

Forever_Confused · **Joined:** Fri May 05, 2006 10:56 am **Posts:** 3

My wife and I just split up a week ago and there are many reasons why. First of all I haven't always been there for her, second she hasn't always been there for me, she starting talking to a "friend" online and thats a problem for me, big time! She says she doesn't really want a divorce but she says she needs her space. The only problem I have is that she is still talking to the guy and as long as she does he will keep her confused enough for her not to think for herself about our problems. How could I possible get my point across to her without her thinking Im trying to control her, which is another prolem she has with me, which I am at times controlling.

hulk220 · **Posted:** Tue Nov 13, 2007 2:33 am

Sounds like she doen't feel like she can talk to you for some reason. I had the same problem with an ex-girlfriend before I met my now wife. Instead of talking to me about what was wrong or even talking to me in general she talked to some guy instead. This was hard because how can you fix whats wrong if you don't truly know what the problem is. If your goal is for the marriage to last my suggestion would be to try and talk to her about whats going on. Instead of her talking to someone else you two should really be the two that are talking. I would tell her that you would really like to sit down and talk to her about whats going on and how she feels. And by talk that usually means you ask a couple of questions and let her vent to you. This way shes venting to you and not the other guy. I know what you mean about the controling part. I can get that way with my wife once and a while and I just have to take a step back re-evaluate the situation. I get around her feeling like i'm controling her by comming at her as a friend. Which in reality husband and wife should be each others best friend. Once I set my pride aside and just sat and listened to her I realized that we both had stuff we needed to work on. We agreed to sit down and without gettting mad just talk about what was going on and why we both have been feeling the way we have. After we had that talk things got much better. We both got to see where the other was comming from. As far as the not being there for each other, thats another dicussion. In short on that just making a little effort to be there for her will go a long way and as you do it more and more it becomes like second nature to always be there for her. Sorry my post was long but I hope some of it helped.

How to make her realize the truth.

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