Please help me... I don't know where to turn.

Unidentified_Soul · **Posted:** Fri Feb 18, 2005 11:27 am

I'm sure this must be one of the situations where you all might have been through, or are just completely sick and tired of hearing - But is completely individual to me and tearing me apart... And I don't know where to go or have anyone to turn to... I so desperately want to be able to tell my close friends, but am too frightened and, possibly, too ashamed to let them know how I really feel or what awful thing I have done

Please do not judge me, I know I have done wrong but I have done everything in my power to put it right, and still feel like I'm stuck in the dark...

...I met this guy online about two years ago and have been holding up hour long conversations with him (over four hours each time, sometimes lasting for more) nearly every single day. We text and talk constantly on ___ and I have only just recently met him in real life.

The problem is I wasn't truthful about who I was online, and could say I made myself out to look better (personality being exactly the same) than I really am... I told him beforehand of the meeting and all he said was that he wanted to be with the person he loved, so I went ahead and met him (not regretting it).

What I fear is that he was disappointed in what he saw... I know I should have given him more time to adjust to the fact that my appearance wasn't what I had said, but he was so lovely and convinced me to see him anyway.

The meeting was very awkward, with one okay-ish hug, and him ending up leaving early, with hardly any talking in between. It was awkward, yet 'comfortable'?

We still keep in contact and talk, and we still seem to get on well (and he still tells me he likes me a lot). He tells me that he is fine about everything but I feel I have so much more to tell him, but hold back every time - Afraid that he just might not want to know or in fear that I will ruin the friendship that I have been able to keep with him? I do not know. Half the time I don't know what I want to even say... Apart from the fact that I want to know how he feels, but cannot text him or ask him for fear that he will find me too clingy for a friend and reject me all together...

I have tried e-mailing him once but didn't get a very good reply, because I he is holding back his feelings. I have made is very clear that he should not feel like he has to talk to me, and he said it’s by choice that he wants to… Or he keeps saying that he’s feeling ****ed up… I don't know whether I should ask to see if he is really okay with the situation? He has told me that seeing me in person again would be easier, but I think he doesn't want that anymore.

We can still talk and joke but I don't feel that I can open up to him as much as I could before and come clean about what I really feel...

Should I be okay with this friendship and move on, even if I can't stop thinking about him? Am I in love? I'm scared that I am too young to be in love (being a teenager) and he is almost eighteen, four years older than me.

Please help, I need to make sense of my feelings or what I should do. #Cries#.

Three times in the last half-an-hour I have come close to sending him a text message... Should I do this?

Thank you all so much for your kindness and replies.
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I AM:UNIDENTIFIED.

kl1ux · **Joined:** Sun Mar 26, 2006 9:50 pm **Posts:** 7

If he is still talking to you, then you have nothing to worry about. He must still like you.

stella · **Posted:** Thu Jul 13, 2006 9:52 am

Sorry to bring the voice of reason here, and I know you don't want to hear this, but it is probably too late to salvage this relationship. Why? You made the two worst mistakes e-daters can possibly make: 1. You let things go on FAR TOO LONG before you met in person, and 2. You misrepresented the facts (well, okay, you lied) about yourself. I could explain the whole thing here, but I have spelled online dating advice out in this nifty webpage, please read it and don't make the same mistakes the next time around. Good luck to you!

Please help me... I don't know where to turn.

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