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A Woman's Guide to Flirting



So you want to flirt... or you want to learn how a man flirts. This guide for women cues you in on the basics of flirting with men and helps you learn how to know if he's flirting with you.

How to Tell if He's Flirting With You


When men flirt, they generally give off cues that exude their masculinity. If your notice that a guy is exhibiting any of these behaviors or gestures, then it's likely that he's flirting with you! Get your flirtatious grove on and flirt back.

These include:
  • Arches his back.
  • Sways his pelvis.
  • Laughs loudly.
  • Tugs his tie.
  • Clasps back of his neck.
  • Squares his shoulders.
  • Puffs his chest.
  • Stiffens his stance.
  • Teases you in a friendly manner.
  • Winks as you from a distance.
  • Smiles suggestively.
  • Engages in direct eye contact.
  • Casually touches you.

What to Watch Out For
Now that you know what to look for when flirting, here are few things that you want to avoid. If you notice a man exhibiting any of these behaviors, escape now.
  • He walks over with over-confidence.
  • He approaches in a controlling manner and dominates the conversation.
  • He invades your personal space right away.

How to Approach Him
If all has gone well and you've read his cues properly, he'll either approach you, or you can approach him. Tread carefully either way. If he's approaching, you don't want to do anything to undermine his confidence. Remember, it takes a lot for a man to just walk up to a woman and talk to her. If you're approaching him, remember that you're sending out signals during the approach that could make or break you before you even have a chance to talk!
  • Lock eyes for a few seconds, then drop your gaze. Eye contact is a sign of openness. Most men will pick up on this flirtatious and approach you.
  • If the guy is approaching you, be classy and charming. He's probably nervous and a bit worried about rejection. Take these into consideration and play nice.
  • While he's approaching, smile suggestively. Experts agree that smiling is one of the most important things you can do to make yourself more attractive and approachable.

Once You're There.
Once he's arrived (or you have), it's time to get the conversation started.
  • Speak slowly and with direct statements rather than abstract ones. Remember that men are less 'feely' than women.
  • Laugh at his jokes, but don't overdo it.
  • Keep your eyes on him, but glance away. Men tend to not engage in direct eye contact as much as women.
  • Ask him about his job as Men tend to define themselves by their careers.
  • Find common ground. The most important aspect of your conversation is to find out what you have in common, be it hobbies, friends, jobs, or whatnot.
  • Don't talk about yourself too much. Answer his questions, but be sure to ask questions about him as well.
Other Things To Look For.
The way a man dresses gives you clues to his personality. Pay attention to the following:
  • Are his top few buttons unbuttoned?
  • Is he dressed casually? Or more formally?
  • Is his appearance neat and clean?


Back to Flirting

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Comments to date: 54. This is page 1 of 6.

tomme   UK

Posted at 4:47pm on Thursday, November 5th, 2009

I cant help but cross my arms, even when i like someone i still do it. i do get a lot of attention (by no moeans am i slutty looking) by being a little revealing and dareing, buti just ruin it when we get talking by putting out all the negative signs, unless thats my bodys way of saying i dont like him altho my head says he's fit do him tonight!?!

shelby   Location unknown

Posted at 10:58am on Friday, October 30th, 2009

what if he tells you he had a dream about you what do you do.

stacey   sydney!

Posted at 9:36pm on Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

i like this guy at work and he says that he likes me but flirts with other girls infront of me???? why would someone do that??? you men give out to many mixed signals that its hard to keep track!!!

Norah   Location unknown

Posted at 5:00pm on Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

When I am flirting with a guy at school, the thing NOT to do is invade his personal space soon! There is one super hot guy named Leo, and everyone is totally attracted to him, but a lot of the girls, like, STALK him, which is really annoying to him. You CAN'T follow him around everywhere.
The number 1 thing i think is SMILE!

Natasha   Somewhere crushing on a guy

Posted at 7:29pm on Thursday, August 27th, 2009

Every time I talk to a hottie I always laugh like a dumbass or smile like a retard I NEED HELP!

floor   Location unknown

Posted at 10:03am on Wednesday, August 5th, 2009

I'm just so shy with boys that i act really dull in front of them -_- very embarrasing and stupid, does anyone have advice for me?

Richie   somewhere

Posted at 4:56pm on Sunday, August 2nd, 2009

lmao. i cracked up at this. "Speak slowly and with direct statements rather than abstract ones. Remember that men are less 'feely' than women." that statement makes us seem like retards lol. although alot of this is true ;)

Lunette   Beverly Hills babyyy

Posted at 1:53pm on Friday, July 31st, 2009

Well I know that when I go to the party, there is at least one really cute shy guy sitting/standing alone. I go over to him and say 'hi. You looked lonely. Mind if I sit here?' usually they will make eye contact with you and smile and flirt a lot. You can really find out a lot from a person like that. Later on you can hang out and go catch a movie and very boldly hold his hand. Guys like it when a girl is bold, but not scary bold. Work's like a charm with emo guys :) well, the one's ive dated.

cerise   Location unknown

Posted at 12:52am on Thursday, June 25th, 2009

eva & kristine - i'm also a tomboy like both of you before, when i met my bf and all i can say is just be yourself! try to find your feminine side by wearing casual dresses once in a while to surprise someone that you like (and boy, just look at his face once he gets a good sight of you!), also, stay relaxed and calm, don't let your macho-stance or your over-protective confidence drown you, let him see what are you like when you let your defenses down. but be careful, you should properly choose the person you want to put your trust to. :)

Kristine   MD

Posted at 11:44pm on Thursday, June 18th, 2009

Eva-- I've got the same syndrome. I'm also pretty shy and that can make things awkward. Help!!!

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