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A Man's Guide to Flirting



So you want to flirt... or you want to learn how a woman flirts. This guide for men cues you in on the basics of flirting with women and helps you learn how to know if she's flirting with you.

How to Tell if She's Flirting With You
Women give off several nonverbal, flirtatious cues to signify that they are interested and attracted to you. You simply need to know what they are and be observant enough to pick up on them! Most of these flirtatious cues exude sexual suggestiveness, so men may naturally pick up on them. However, the trained eye can pick up so much more. For instance, did you know that the most common flirtatious behavior a woman engages in is the hair flip. When a woman runs her fingers through her hair of flips her hair, she's generally trying to get your attention.

Here are more behaviors women engage in while flirting:
  • Sways her hips while walking.
  • Tilts her head and/or exposes her neck.
  • Licks or bites her lips.
  • Tosses, plays, or twirls her hair.
  • Crosses and uncrosses her legs.
  • Slips her foot in and out of her shoe.
  • Holds a lingering gaze a few seconds longer than usual.
  • Giggles or laughs when you laugh.
  • Engages in friendly teasing.
  • Winks at you.
  • Smiles suggestively.
  • Casually touches to your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand.
  • Raises or lowers her voice volume to match yours.
  • Touches her cheek.
  • Exposes her palms.
  • Has tall, straight posture while sitting or walking
  • Puts her fingernail between her teeth.
  • Plays with her jewelry.
  • Raises her eyebrows.
  • Wears sexy clothes or shows suggestive cleavage.
What to Watch Out For
Now that you know what to look for when flirting, here are few things that you want to avoid. If you notice a woman exhibiting any of these behaviors, it generally means that she's not interested and that it's time to move on.
  • She's hunched over.
  • She taps her fingers on the table or on her glass.
  • She taps her foot or keeps her legs uncrossed.
  • She won't look you directly in the eye.
How to Approach Her
If all has gone well and you've read her cues properly, it's time to approach her. Tread carefully here though because you're sending out signals while approaching her that could make or break you before you even have a chance to talk to her!
  • Have self-confidence and exude this when walking towards her. Keep your head held high and your chest out.
  • Smile. Smile. Smile.
  • Keep it easy going and carefree.
  • Don't immediately invade her personal space as it's an aggressive behavior and will generally scare her off.
  • Have a good opening line prepared and practiced. You can choose based on the situation, but make sure that it's unique, clever, and most definitely not cheesy or overly suggestive. Humor tends to work well.
  • Tell her your name and that you'd like to spend some time with her talking.
Once You're There.
Once you're there, it's time to get the conversation started.
  • Speak openly and honestly.
  • Nod or give verbal cues such as 'uh huh' or 'yeah' to show that you're listening and validating her comments.
  • A little humor is always a good thing. Did you know that the majority of women say that they're looking for someone who can make them laugh?
  • Don't talk about yourself too much. Answer her questions, but be sure to ask questions about her as well.
  • Find common ground. The most important aspect of your conversation is to find out what you have in common, be it hobbies, friends, jobs, or whatnot.
  • Remember that while most men define themselves by their job or career, women are generally more interested in you spend your off time. Make sure that you let her know.
Other Things To Look For.
The way a woman dresses gives you clues to his personality. Pay attention to her clothing, right down to her shoes, and you'll learn more about her.
  • Is she dressed seductively with cleavage showing?
  • Is she wearing open-toed sandals? The more open her shoes are, the more willing she is to be open with you.
  • Is her appearance neat and clean?


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Comments to date: 53. This is page 1 of 6.

silviya   pakistan

Posted at 3:34am on Sunday, January 24th, 2010

dont belived man

i   wisconsin

Posted at 8:02pm on Friday, January 15th, 2010

Dude ya rite that's wut my bf calls me 2 omg I had no idea I was flirting, like with the shoe thing, so common!!! :p

Anonymous   USA

Posted at 11:43am on Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

the body lanuage part is pretty much right on the money (: haha

taiz   whk

Posted at 1:27pm on Friday, January 1st, 2010

so lol... its in the blood. ha ha ha

taiz   whk

Posted at 1:27pm on Friday, January 1st, 2010

so lol... its in the blood. ha ha ha

hanna   brazil

Posted at 7:24am on Sunday, November 29th, 2009

where are these boys hiding?

jess   california

Posted at 5:48pm on Friday, November 27th, 2009

Wow, I'm single and always have been but many guys did those things and i had NO idea hey were flirting dang, if i knew this, i probably wouldnt be single :(

Sara   United States

Posted at 5:24am on Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

Actually .. this info is pretty accurate pertaining to body language which is all done subconsciously .. well except for the open shoe part lol i never heard of that...

:D   Australia

Posted at 7:32am on Saturday, November 14th, 2009

Funny all of these "tips" is what i do anyway, i always maintain eyecontact and smile, the key in flirting i think is not to expect getting any singal back, not expect that your going to erhm "get in", smile be happy be yourself and generally things work out, if your to shy or too over confident your heading in the oppisite direction. last things chicks what is a cocky guy or one that doesnt talk or show interest. most of flirting is just common sense. thats my opinion anyway :)

markid   new york

Posted at 8:23pm on Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

Dude, this is messed up...there is no way dat a woman will flirt like that and trust me, I have a lot of experience

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