Have you giggled at a joke or held his gaze for a few seconds longer than you usually would? If so, you were flirting.
Flirting is defined as the process of making playful romantic or sexual overtures. It's how we initially express a sexual or romantic interest in another person. Generally, if you are attracted to a person, you'll flirt as a way of discovering if they are attracted to you as well. These flirtatious actions include your conversation, body language, and/or physical contact.
Flirting & Body Language
Body language, the physical movements and gestures that convey our emotions, is more powerful than spoken language. According to experts, our non-verbal body language represents 50% of what we communicate, while or tone of voice represents 38% and actual spoken words, just a mere 7%. We often don't even realize that we are communicating when are bodies are sending out messages. Because body language is the most important communication factor between potential mates, it's important to recognize the messages that we are sending out and the messages that are being towards us.
So what does this mean for you and your relationships?
If you watch a couple that is deep in conversation, you'll notice how they:
Shift their positions so that they mimic one another. They are generally relaxed, mirroring one another.
Shift their breathing patterns as they conversation moves on.
Adjust their voice volume to match the other person's.
If you understand the basics of body language, you'll pick up these signs making you more aware of how your dates really feel and aware of what non-verbal cues you are sending out. Body language is more than just a quiver or a shiver. It is comprised of many cues that include flirtatious gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, and body posture.
While both men and women use body language as a means of communication, women generally send five times more sexual body language signals than men.
A few of the more common body language cues include:
Personal Space. One of the most important body language cues to watch out for. If he or she enters your personal space, this is an excellent sign that they want to get closer to you. If they enter to quickly, they're more aggressive and you may not want to pursue it further.
The Arm Cross. Not a good sign. This generally means that he or she is not interested and it's time to back off. Anytime you're in a conversation, crossed arms signifies caution and defensiveness.
A Smile. A smile eases the tension. It indicates friendliness, a positive attitude, a good mood, and the impression that you're fun to be with.
Flirting & Conversation
Conversation plays an important role in the flirting process as it is the time when you actually get to know more about one another. The overall goal is to find out if the other person is right for you.
They key to good, flirtatious conversation is to remember that men and women think differently. Either way, make sure you:
Listen attentively.
Find common ground. The most important aspect of your conversation is to find out what you have in common, be it hobbies, friends, jobs, or whatnot.
Don't talk about yourself too much. Answer his questions, but be sure to ask questions about him as well.
Flirting & Physical Contact
There are several different methods of 'touching' in a flirtatious way, but one of the more important cues at the beginning of the flirting process is the casual touch.
The casual touch, should appear casual and accidental. It may be a gentle touch to the arm as you laugh at his joke or a casual touch to your hand as you're deep in conversation. Either way, you want to make sure that it's friendly and that the other person has a positive reaction to the touch. If the person accepts your touch with a friendly gesture or a returned touch, then all has gone well. If he or she moves away or ignores the touch, then they're not open to the situation. In general, the touch assures the other person that you have let down your defenses and have accepted them enough to get emotionally and physically closer.
Final Notes on Flirting
1. Because flirting is the way you discover if someone is attracted to you as well, if you flirt and they don't flirt back, it's safe to say you should move on to the next person to whom you are attracted.
2. Flirting is extremely important at the beginning of the relationship as it's often used in determining the level of interest in dating or sexual activity with the other person. If you're attracted, flirt back!
3. Sometimes flirtatious behavior occurs as a form of entertainment or to have casual sex rather than long term relationships.
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Comments to date: 24. This is page 1 of 3.
mollie newport beach
Posted at 9:40pm on Monday, May 12th, 2008
theres this guy i like and he acks really into me and all but then he tells his best friend he doesnt like me on myspace i always have to start the conversation which makes me think that im being to clingy but if we dont talk we wont go anywhere but when we are together with friends he flirts and acts interested, but he goes and flirts with other girls too and messes around with my best friend i just dont know what to do
meliss beverly hills
Posted at 5:10pm on Friday, April 18th, 2008
to diddy-NY i think you should tell the girl that you are really into her, and distance should not be a reason to stay apart. If you really do love her and think its meant to be than things will work out fine :)
Martin The Moon
Posted at 9:27pm on Monday, April 14th, 2008
see about the crossing arms bit, thts not always true. I cross my arms loads to hide stuff that i've dripped on my t-shirt, and one of my mates has lovely man-boobs and crosses his arms to cover them.
DIDDY NEW YORK
Posted at 4:28am on Wednesday, March 26th, 2008
I LOVE A GIRL AND SHE LOVES TOO BUT SHE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE BUT SOMETIMES SHE REALLY NEED ME THAT SHE GET MAD CUZ IM TOO FAR AWAY......WE SEE TWICE IN THE MONTHS BUT I SEE THAT ITS NOT ENOUGH FOR HER ...WHAT WOULD I DO ??? I REALLY LOVE HER AND CAN SACRIFICE FOR HER BUT SCARE THAT SHE WILL TELL ME THAT SHE IS TIRED OF THE LUV FONE
Spencer Houston,TX
Posted at 1:18pm on Sunday, February 10th, 2008
Well, i was commited with one girl... our ralationship was lovely and beautiful, she always told me ´´ i'll love you forever´´ and many times i told her the same thing, now it's over and our proud its killing our friendship, she told me that still love me and i love her too, but her friends always call her out and speak something to made me jealous... some opinion?
Tanya Gueren.. tucson
Posted at 3:45pm on Thursday, February 7th, 2008
Well here is my situation. I have this friend and everyone knows we like eachother but me and him always blow it off. We go out of our ways to say hi or i love you etc. And everytiime someone asks are you going out we stop talking. But is weird because i will stop talking to him and start talking to someone new, and he will stop them from alking to me. Its very weird how everyone knows already whats gonna happen but me && him dont. Maybe will stay his way and never change.=/
Tania Tucson
Posted at 3:41pm on Thursday, February 7th, 2008
awww.
theres something similar to all this info happening to me. aww. im getting butterflies just thinking about it.
god_hottie Location unknown
Posted at 9:27am on Saturday, January 19th, 2008
Im flirting now at CASUALLOVING dot COM! Thanks for you posting, that several different flirting methods.
Me in another galixy
Posted at 10:50pm on Friday, January 11th, 2008
I like this guy at church and he and I have had kinda an akward friendship-- mainly liking eachother but not knowing how the other feels ppl trying to get us to go out when we werent ready etc. I hadnt seen him in a while and he showed up at church last week he was a little flirty-- I think he was trying to find out if I liked him still. So he bumped into me a couple times and brushed hands. I disided to go talk to him and this site pretty much helped alot... I finally didnt say something dumb like nice butt when i mean belt. but yeah im hoping that me and him will be able to do something soon like maybe a little more than a kiss on the cheek... :] great site.
roy florida
Posted at 11:39am on Thursday, January 10th, 2008
Im flirting with this girl at work and she is totally into it. She gives me positive feedback all the time and flirts with me too. The problem is were both single and she wont take it beyond flirting. This is the reason I hadnt asked her out yet cause im not sure if she is for real or just playing with me. We text each other alot but when the conversation gets hotter then she dosent reply. I dont know whats up with that cause when we see each other were still flirting as always - getting deeper into each other. I plan on kissing her soon to see her reaction.