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Sex and God.

© Dr. Neil Friedman

Sex.

Sex and God.

Is there any other three letter word in the English language that can match those two for sheer power?

By power I mean that these are words that arrest our attention, that have weight and valence, that we want to hear more about.

In the over 2,000 questions that I have answered in my Ask Dr. Neil column and that remain on the site at Relationhsip-Talk.com, the questions that are read and reread over and over are the ones that have sex in the title.

Sex has a bad rap in some circles these days. We hear more about sexual abuse, sex addiction, AIDS, abstinence and erectile dysfunction than we do about the joys of sex.

My book is sex-friendly. I do not deny the difficulties, dangers, and disabilities of sex. But I want to help people get more out of sex.

My own personal favorite in the sex guides is Alex Comfort's, THE JOY OF SEX (Random House, 1972). It needs some update on gay and lesbian sex and health concerns around sex. But its basic point of view is very important.

Here comes my paraphrase and my additions to Comfort's basic view on sex:

• Loving sex is consensual, mutual, sensitive, imaginative, playful, exploratory, health-conscious, and both a giving and a receiving.
• It requires saying what one wants and likes and giving feedback.
• Take off your inhibitions with your clothes.
• Use the whole of the skin's surface.
• And your fantasies.
• Don't do anything that you don't want to do.
• LEARN how to give and receive good sex with this partner.
• Try not to shame your partner.
• In sex, anything and everything goes so long as the people involved say YES to it.
• The imagination is an important ally of good sex.

Enjoy!

Many blessings
Dr. Neil

About the Author
Relationship questions? Everyone has them. Most are afraid to ask them. Thus is the beauty of the Internet. With complete anonymity, both men and women can ask everything they ever wanted to know about sex, dating, marriage, divorce, or relationships-but were always too afraid to ask. But who is there to answer?

Luckily, therapist, lecturer, and author Dr. Neil Friedman has answered over 1,000 of these probing relationship questions in his popular "Ask Dr. Neil" column at www.Relationship-Talk.com. Handling everything from sex to communication to endings and affairs, Dr. Neil responds sensitively and knowledgeably to his devoted fans and newbies alike.