It seems to me that the more attractive women (ridiculously gorgeous) will always treat the guy they are dating like crap. My friend claims always to have that problem and feels the need to dump them. What do you think? It can't be as simple as that these women can pretty much get what they want so they always push their luck?
Hello!
I know exactly what you're saying here. Yes, it SEEMS like that to us guys because we're looking at it from our own perspectives - our own needs.
Consider this: if you tried to pull some of this crap with your buddies; what would happen? They'd start by questioning your manhood and eventually just dump you as a friend. That's because it's not only unreasonable, it's rude.
However, we guys tend to put up with it from beautiful women! That's a tragic mistake however.
Men and women bring different assets to the table. It's not exactly "fair", but it is the reality of life. Women bring their looks (and if you're smart) their skills. Frankly, very few guys worry about the latter and focus on the former. Men on the other hand bring their power which translates outwardly in many different ways - the way our friends treat us, our earning power, our "prestige" and many other ways.
What's particularly unfair about this is that as you get older, your power-base continues to grow. With women, their attributes fade over time. A "10" in her 20's will drop to a "5" or a "6" in her 40's. She knows that and has to work quickly to hook a guy that is a "10" in her eyes as early as possible. That's not my rule by the way - it was here when I arrived! It's also one of the main reasons that younger women are fascinated with older men!
Here's why beautiful women act this way: they're giving you what I call the "Pre-Test". It's a chance for them to see if your power-level is above, at, or below theirs. Since beautiful women have a much higher asset-value than their less-attractive girlfriends, they want you to bring a much higher power-base with you. All of these challenges are about proving that's who you are.
Here's an interesting aside to this discussion: many less-attractive women mistakenly think that by challenging you in similar ways, they will appear more attractive! Women even talk about how "men want a challenge". They are totally wrong however. If their looks don't match their challenges, we'll just dump them entirely and move on as being too much maintenance - which they are.
Thus, it's imperative that you establish that power-base immediately from the moment you approach a woman. There are many ways to do this from using a cocky-funny type approach to neg-hits (like "Hey, those are nice shoes, my grandmother has a pair just like them!") to an aire of disinterest. You also need to call on these tools as the relationship matures because she's going to Test you far more often - and for far longer than a less-attractive woman.
You know that women go for "jerks" right? This is one of the most important reasons why they do so! An apparent jerk seems to move in his own direction at his own speed. This signals power. Likewise, women (not men!) want a challenge, and the challenge of taming the "bad boy" is just too irresistable!
All women will give all men they are interested THE Test. This is a big, emotional - and artificial - situation created early-on in the relationship (usually within a month, but no more than two) that is designed to specifically and clearly establish the power-base within the relationship. Most guys; being the problem-solvers that we are, will try to deal with the issue of The Test - not handle it as a Test. This means we've failed - and lost our power-base to boot.
The wise dude will always deal directly and specifically with The Test as a Test instead; thus, firmly establishing a greater power relationship with the woman.
This is somewhat complicated at first to grasp, and I've only scratched the scratch of this important topic. I encourage you to read my books "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II" for complete understanding of The Test, the Mini-Test and the Pre-Test.
The bottom line is this: don't fault beauties for using these tools. Women have evolved over the millennia to have these (and frankly, many more) tools to establish their own places in relationships. Instead, learn them and more important; learn how to deal with them, and you'll have some incredible, beautiful women that fall in love with you all the time.
That's what these women really want. If you can pass their Tests easily, they feel safe, secure and will give you just as much love and respect as women of lesser looks.
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis Neder, Relationship Author & Columnist
Author of Being a Man in a Woman's World, Dr. Dennis Neder is dedicated to advancing the arts and sciences of relationships. His mantra: start having the relationships you deserve! New articles are posted every Wednesday!
Do you have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? Dr. Dennis Neder answers all email, so send him an email for answers. For more information about his books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volumes I & II), and other products, please visit BeingAMan.com.
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Idol (Mona in my Eyes)
