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How to Get One Night Stands

© Dr. Dennis Neder

Hi Dennis!

I like this girl but she says she's not ready for a serious relationship right now and wants to be by herself for a while. I'm respecting that and just being her friend right now.

I want to really enjoy my youth as much as I can and I don't want anything serious with anyone but her so my question is: how can I have just a bunch of one-night stands with really hot girls just for fun? Is there a way to go about it and could you tell me where to find these girls and how to go about making it happen?

Thanks for you help take care.


Hello!

First of all, I have no idea why you're "waiting around" for her, "respecting her" and "being her friend". What you're really doing is proving to her that you're not in charge here and that she dodged a bullet by not going out with you. Do me a favor: go to my website (http://beingaman.com) and click on "BAM TV" and watch the short video on "Friends". Then, click on "Self Help" and read my FAQ's. You need some new perspective here.

As far as ONS (One-Night Stands) are concerned, yes, you can get them, but be aware, it takes some real game to make them happen. You need some real study behind you and I recommend that you look at my "Hunting Seminar on DVD" or read "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II" (both books) where I talk about how all of this is done.

Let me give you some of the basics, but trust me, this isn't going to get you very far - there really are a TON of things you need to know to close ONS's.

First, you have to pick a place where there are MANY targets. That usually means a bar or club. The problem here is that you instantly increase your competition too. The vast majority of these places are usually 2 guys for every girl. That means you're competing with each of them for every target you approach.

You need to learn how to build your own personal image that not only fits you but makes you larger than life. Your confidence, directness, being slightly cocky without being a jackass, your "look", the way you move - all of these things either move your game forward, or hold you back. You need to get that perfected.

Next, women in these places go there specifically to be approached by guys. THEY are there to prevent you from getting what you want and will even work together! For instance, you might meet one girl that wants to go home with you and do absolutely everything right with her. Then, her buddy will be there to prevent it (I call her the "Game Buster" or "GB"). There are many other GB's there too - in fact, every other guy (sometimes even your own buddies) will try to bust your game. You need to learn how to shut down GB's if you want to be successful in these places.

You need to learn how to approach. This is far more than just walking up to some girl and saying "Hey, you want to go home with me?" You're going to waste your time with that. Likewise, using some dumb pick up line is going to get you shot down too! You need CONTEXT in order to approach a girl and you need to learn how to deliver that context quickly and specifically in a way that speaks to her - not generically. That comes off again as a line.

Next, since most girls are in packs (not alone) you're going to need to learn how to approach the group - not just the single girl. She's not going to just blow off her friends for your approach. Thus, you need to learn to engage the entire group and use them to build up your credibility with your target. Once you get their buy-in, you can begin to work on your target.

If you're going to work with one or more wingmen, you need to learn the rules of how to work together. Yes, there ARE specific rules of how wingmen work together. They can be a real asset, or, if they don't know what they're doing, they can totally destroy your game in one sentence - and theirs right along with it.

Next, you need to learn how to quickly build rapport and connection. If a girl sees you as any form of threat (like you're just there to bang her and bolt) she's going to shut you down in a heartbeat. You use communication skills to build her interest and make her feel connected to you. Through this, you begin to build a sexual connection and then turn that into a physical reaction.

You need to learn how to do "time compression and distortion". This is where she feels that she's had 2 or 3 or 4 "dates" with you in the span of less than an hour. During that time, she's getting past her own natural apprehension and focusing more on how she sees herself with you - how you two "look" together. There's a very specific set of tools just to do this.

You next need to learn the proper ways to "close" (move things forward to sex). This begins from the very moment you make contact with the girl and continues right through the instant you walk out her door. There are many different steps here and missing any one of them will get you shut down - without a chance for a second date.

You will need to learn how to deal with all sorts of issues along the way such as how to make her feel that the ONS is HER idea and what SHE needs. You will need to learn how to deal with "Last Minute Resistance" ("LMR") and how to know when to push and when to pull back. You will need to learn how to get her to kiss you (rather than kissing her), how to get her to touch you, how to take her natural feminine beliefs and fit into them, etc.

As you can see, there's a TON of things you need to learn to be successful with ONS's. The good news is that you CAN learn these things. The bad news is that I can't teach you them in one -or 100 messages, but then, I don't have to. I've already put these things in a series of DVD's you can get from my website.

Get to studying, my brother - there are tons of great women out there waiting for you!

Best regards.



About the Author
Author of Being a Man in a Woman's World, Dr. Dennis Neder is dedicated to advancing the arts and sciences of relationships. His mantra: start having the relationships you deserve! New articles are posted every Wednesday!

Do you have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? Dr. Dennis Neder answers all email, so send him an email for answers. For more information about his books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volumes I & II), and other products, please visit BeingAMan.com.