As men, we know that it's our job to do the initial approach, to get phone numbers and/or email addresses, to set-up dates, to convert to sex, to begin relationships, etc.
It's not that women can't do these things, (and in fact, I recommend that women do and even teach them how), but because of many psychological pre-wiring issues, women often will not. Thus, it's our job to not only learn how, but to actually do this function.
Many men are so afraid of being rejected that they never even bother to learn these skills. So, in this article I'm going to show you exactly how to get over your fear of rejection once and for all. You might give this a different name: shyness, social phobia or just plain terror, but in any case - it no longer needs to be a burden for you.
At the end of this article, I'm going to give you the ultimate trick to absolutely eliminate any fear you have, but read the next items first - they are the most important:
Step #1 - Education
Look, if you learn how to approach women the "right way", you instantly reduce anxiety because you know you're maximizing your probability for success. It's that simple - and yes, there are "right" and "wrong" ways! By knowing what to say, how to act, and what to do, you're not going to be stumbling over all of this when you approach.
There are a ton of resources on my website to help you here. In fact, there are over 500 articles, books, CD's, DVD's, podcasts and even software all dedicated to helping you with every aspect of your game. (http://beingaman.com) There's no longer a reason for you to not know exactly what to do, where to go or to lack any other resource!
Step #2 - Practice
The very first time you try a new thing, it's going to be difficult for you. We already know this is true, so go get it over with already! What are you waiting for? If you know the second time will be easier than the first, go get the first time out of the way! It really doesn't even matter with whom you try it - just go do it!
Then, the second time will be easier. The third will be easier still, the forth will be even easier, and so on.
You have to practice these skills but you can do it in small, manageable steps. You might begin by just making eye contact. This is very non-threatening and easy to do anywhere other people are found. Then, add a "hello" or "good morning". You'll be surprised at how many people will respond. Next, smile - it's easy to do. You can continue practicing and building your skills from here.
Step #3 - Refine
We are all different people and what works for one guy won't necessarily work the same way for others. You want to take your skills and continue to refine them in order to get the best possible results out of your efforts.
To refine them you want to try the things you learn and make small adjustments. Then, try them again. If these adjustments increase your success, then continue along that path. If not, go back and either stick with the previous method or try another in some other way. It won't be long before you have a set of tools that work for you almost every single time! Just imagine how your fear will fade when you have 5 phone numbers you're working on with the possibility of get more any time you want!
And now, the most important element of this discussion:
Here's an incredible trick I know to absolutely eliminate your fear of rejection - and this works for both men and women.
It's this simple: raise your standards.
What exactly does this mean? Simple:
Right now, you probably have the "standard" that you'll feel rejected whenever someone says "no" to you. That's a pretty low, weak standard, indeed! What if you changed this around and started to accept the standard that you'll only feel rejected when someone slaps you or throws a drink in your face?
In effect, by making this simple decision, you're "raising the standard" of what it takes for you to feel rejected from the simple "no" to being assaulted. That's pretty cool!
Now, I can tell you that the likelihood of being assaulted is pretty low. Thus, you'll never feel rejected again if you adopt this simple, easy belief.
It all comes down to the decision to raise your standards.
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis Neder, Relationship Author & Columnist
Author of Being a Man in a Woman's World, Dr. Dennis Neder is dedicated to advancing the arts and sciences of relationships. His mantra: start having the relationships you deserve! New articles are posted every Wednesday!
Do you have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? Dr. Dennis Neder answers all email, so send him an email for answers. For more information about his books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volumes I & II), and other products, please visit BeingAMan.com.
Idol (Mona in my Eyes)
