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The Five Signs That She's Interested in You

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Dear Doc,

I've just gotten back into the dating scene after a two-year relationship that recently ended. A few nights ago I went out on a date with a girl that I met at a friend's wedding.

Things seemed to go quite well on our date. We really clicked in a lot of ways, and I would be thrilled to go out with this woman again. The entire time we were together she smiled at me a lot and was very sweet. But I couldn't tell if she was really attracted to me or if she was just being friendly.

I guess what I'd like to know is: how can you tell after you've only spent two or three hours with a girl if she's attracted to you or not. Even if a girl IS attracted to you, it's rare that she would just come right out and tell you on a first date. So, Doc, how can I tell?

Bradford - who wants to know the signs

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Hi Bradford,

Wouldn't it be great if there were a small monitoring device with a scale that went from zero to one hundred that gave you an instant reading of a woman's romantic Interest Level in you? As you discreetly pointed it in her direction you'd see the number right there: "82%" or "65%" or "0.3%."

No more wondering, no more waiting. No more confusion, no more second guessing. Think of what the human species might be able to accomplish with the time and energy saved. We could find a way to end starvation, maybe cure cancer or even figure out why Carmen made it to the top ten on American Idol.

Bradford, you are asking the perennial question that tens of thousands of guys painfully ponder every single day: "Does she like me? I know that I like her… She knows that I like her because I went through all that initiating and risking that it took to get her out on on a date. But does she REALLY like me?"

Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a Female Interest Level Readout Monitor. But, there is something that can give you the same information almost as quickly. That something, of course, is "The System."

Obviously you're a new reader, Bradford and you're not yet able to have an understanding of the power and the elegance of my principles. So let me give you a few tips that will be extremely helpful to you and will also begin to give you an appreciation of the treasure trove of wisdom that you are now beginning to access.

Here are the top five signs that you can look for to tell if a woman is attracted to you when you're first spending time with her:

One) She touches you. This is one of the most telling signs. In many instances you will find that the woman that you're out on a first date with will not touch you at all. Why not? Because she's not attracted to you. But when you're out on a date with a woman who likes you, you will notice that in most cases, she will find an excuse to physically touch you in some way during the date.

Often it won't be a clearly obvious move like holding your hand or taking your arm as you both walk down the street together. That can happen, however, and it's a great sign when it does. More often though, the kind of touching from her that I'm talking about will be something as seemingly insignificant as a tap on the shoulder from her or her knee 'accidentally' bumping yours and lingering for an extra second before she withdraws it.

If you end a first date with a woman, and she has never touched you once in any way whatsoever during the entire time you were together with her, then chances are you're dead in the water. But if she even just tapped your shoulder once that night while laughing at one of your jokes for instance, then you're in play.

If she tapped your shoulder three times during the evening and then grabbed your arm for a couple of seconds to guide you over to a book she wanted you to see while the two of you were browsing Barnes and Noble - then you're in the money! The more she touches you and the more often she touches you, the higher her Interest Level is in you.

Two) She compliments you. A woman who has high interest in you, even after only knowing you an hour or two, will often give you one or more sincere compliments. And if there is a sparkle in her eye when she delivers the compliment, then you've got a bona fide high Interest Level sign.

Three) She exhibits genuine curiosity about you. A woman who has no romantic interest in you whatsoever will still ask you polite questions about yourself. "So where did you grow up? Where do your parents live? What kind of work do you do?"

But a woman who really likes you will show a genuine, warm, curious interest in you. She'll want to know what makes you tick. She'll want to know what's important and meaningful to you in your life. As you look in her eyes you'll be able to see the wheels turning as she's trying to figure you out. That's high interest.

Four) She makes a reference or references to future activities together. You tell her that you're an avid roller blader in response she says, "I love to roller blade. Maybe we could go roller blading together sometime." To you Psych majors, women with low Interest Level don't say things like this.

Five) She gives you a nice kiss at the end of the date. At the end of your first date with a woman you should always make a move for a lovely kiss. No big deal, just a kiss. The way that she responds to you as your lips move towards hers will give you crucial feedback.

If she turns her head and gives you "The Cheek" before your lips can touch hers, then it's hasta la vista baby. But if she responds warmly and enthusiastically kisses you back, then, dude, you've got a live one.

Remember, guys: you gotta hit at least four out of five.

About the Author
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" Get a new love advice article from Doc Love every week!