How to Read Your Date's Body Language

Q: Dear April,
I've always heard that I should watch out for body language to tell if a chick is digging me. What signs would I see if she was...and what if she wasn't? And is this something that I should think about, too? Like, do girls watch guys for body language?

Thanks a bunch,
Body (Language) Builder

A: Dear Body (Language) Builder,
Before you utter a word, your body is saying a lot on your behalf. Depressed or anxious, amorous or excited—it's all out there for others to see...whether you know it or not. This is why I think it's so important to actually understand—and be able to control—what it is your body is saying to your date (and what your date's body is telling you) through a mere gesture, or tilt of the head.

To this end, let's take a look at a few basic body parts, and whether you're projecting on the outside what you feel on the inside.

Show Your Interest

• Face Forward—Your head should be facing the person to whom you are speaking with, and be tilted and/or nodding to let them know you are interested. Don't get carried away, though. A slight nod will suffice!
• Eye Contact—Direct and continual eye contact is key. But there is a difference between that and staring your date down. Know the difference, and do the former.
• Body—As with the face, your entire upper body should be pointing toward the person you're speaking with. Leaning in just a bit with your torso in is an effective way to let them know you are interested, engaged, and flirtatious.
• Legs—Our legs, and even feet, tell part of our story. If standing, legs should be helping you lean ever-so-slightly forward, feet in an open position. While sitting, it's best to keep both feet flat on the floor beneath you, or crossed low, at the ankles. Even though it's a common way to sit, an ankle resting on the knee can seem as though you're fidgety or eager to leave, so unless you're ready to run, keep ‘em planted.

Gauge Their Interest

• Caressing—When your date touches themselves, or an object (such as a glass), it can mean they want to touch you, or that he or she wants you to touch them. But tread carefully. There's always the possibility that it's just an itch!
• The Touch—Attention! Attention! No matter where, when, or how—even if it seems accidental—if your date touches you, you're being sent an undeniable signal that they're interested.
• And Remember—Still not sure whether your date is digging you? Check out whether they're leaning in toward you, or pulling away. Are their eyes directed straight into yours, or roaming the room? If it's the former, you know you've got them. And if it's the latter, it might be time to roam the room yourself.

If you're ready for even more tips on body language, along with bold, brutally honest, and always helpful dating advice, then check out my Web site, www.AskApril.com.There, you'll find informative articles, expert columnists, interactive quizzes, and free giveaways! And don't forget to also sign up for one of my workshops, where exploring body language is just the tip of the iceberg.

April Masini