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What to do when you're Single on Valentine's Day

© Amy Cunningham, Editor

So, it is Valentine's Day and you find yourself not only single, but dateless. Hey, it doesn't have to be so bad! You can have a great time without a significant other.

If you are single and want to be single, don't let all those lovey dovey couples on the TV make you feel guilty or inadequate for your lifestyle choice. If you are a resistant single (you want to be in a relationship but aren't) then maybe this is a good time to redefine what you want in a mate. Perhaps you may want to even try an online dating service like eHarmony, which matches you based on an in depth profile. In the meantime though, take care of you! At a loss? Here's what to do when you're single on Valentine's Day.

While it may feel as if you are the only person in town who is single on Valentine's Day, you aren't. There are plenty of other singles out there who feel the same way that you do. You just need to find them. Look for single's groups in your area, church sponsored groups for singles and of course the standard, nationwide groups like Parents without Partners. Or, if you know of some other single folks, get together and plan something fun. Plan your own little party with food, fun, and games, or celebrate with a group dinner out and a movie. Singles can have fun on Valentine's Day too!

If it's February 14 and you're alone, you're single on Valentine's Day. Don't let it get you down...be your own Valentine! Buy yourself some candy and take yourself to dinner. Make Valentine's cards with red construction paper, velvet, ribbon and lace (keep them if you like, or give them away). Take yourself on a date and spare no expense!

Remember, there is no reason why you can't buy yourself that cute teddy bear that says "I Wuv You." Only you can define your own happiness. No one can make you happy, only you have the power to do that (and sustain it over time). So start learning to love yourself now.

As you are looking for things to do when you're single on Valentine's Day, think about redefining aspects of your relationships such as what you want in a partner. Make a list of the things you want in a relationship. Now make a list of what you have been getting in your relationships.

Think about your ex's, how they treated you, what they brought to the table in terms of the relationship and why your relationships ended. You may find that you need to adjust your standards, either raise or lower them, or you may find that your choices in a mate are skewed in some way. Maybe your expectations are too high and you forget that you are dealing with humans who make mistakes and aren't perfect. Whatever the case, use this time as a time of reflection, change and growth.

Consider this question: are you single on Valentine's Day because you want to be or do you want to date? If the answer is the later, be proactive and seek out a Valentine's Day date! Check out local dating services or try an online dating service (our faves: match.com and eHarmony). Heck, ask your friends to set you up on a blind date! Be adventurous. Get yourself out there. It's a myth that true love will find you if it's meant to be. Take action now and you'll no longer be single on Valentine's Day!

Give yourself a spa day, cook your favorite meal and just treat yourself well. Being single on Valentine's Day doesn't mean you have to deprive yourself; be completely selfish. This is a time that you can focus solely on you.

Get out and do something fun, or stay in, your choice. Watch whatever movies YOU want to watch and eat whatever YOU want to eat. This is YOUR DAY and you don't have to think about whether or not anyone else will be having fun as you do what you want to do.

OK, this is all in fun, but if you have a little aggression that you would like to take out on an ex, wander on over to Virtual Design Group and torture your own personal voodoo doll. As a healthy, happy person who just so happens to be single on Valentine's Day, this can be loads of fun.

If you are looking for a little payback, a little retribution for a lousy relationship or less than stellar ex, this is your chance! Stick your doll with pins, burn it with fire or cut it with a gnarly looking knife. It will scream, cry and say “Ow!” just for you. Go ahead, the first pin stick is always the hardest.

Happy Valentine's Day!