The bottom line when it comes to many relationships, particularly the intimate side, is that men want sex, while women want romance. Men know that romance often leads to intimacy, but often aren't sure exactly how to be romantic. Women on the other hand put all of the romantic expectations on men, when they in fact can often take the lead in the romance department. But romance doesn't have to be an unexpected surprise only shown by men to women. In fact, both partners can - and should - take initiative and incorporate bits of romance and attentiveness into their relationship every day.
While romance can be confusing with mixed signals between partners and pressure to conform to society ideals of what romance should be, it doesn't have to be that way. Even if you don't consider yourself a romantic person, you can become one! The fact is, you can learn how to be romantic! Being romantic is not a trait that you're born with, but rather something that you learn and continue to grow.
Start with this list of Romantic DO's in a relationship to help add a spark. You'll find that as your incorporate more of these into your relationship, the more romantic and intimate it becomes!
- Say "I love you" when it's least expected. For instance, if you're in the middle of an argument, break the tension with an "I love you".
- Put your partner's needs above your own. When you attend to and meet your partner's needs, it's reciprocated and you both feel loved and special.
- Give without expecting anything in return. Remember the golden rule of it's better to give than receive? If you give to your partner (love, respect, attention) you'll find that you receive the same in your relationship.
- Write your partner love letters & love notes. This quick-and-easy task is a fun way to show your love.
- Engage in PDA. Public displays of affection like Kissing, hugging, and holding hands in public expresses your love and intimacy with your partner
- Be romantic. It sounds simple, but many let the romance wane in their relationships. Simple acts of romance bring you closer together and strengthen your bond.
- Take the initiative. Too many couples get stuck in the rut where they feel like they'll do something romantic once their partner shows some initiative. The fact is, if you take the initiative with romance, your partner will follow.
- Be adventurous and willing to try new things. Show interest in your partners hobbies, try new things, and be open to new situations. You'll expand your horizons and strengthen your relationship.
- Listen well. While it's always good to have someone to talk to in a relationship, its even better to be a good listener. Ask your partner questions, engage in the conversation, offer advice if needed, and genuinely be interested in what your partner has to say.