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Dating and the Way You Think
by Devlyn Steele
You have decided that it’s time to get out there and perhaps connect with someone special. Since it’s not always easy finding a concentrated group of individuals with the same objectives, you have decided to enter the different and exciting world of online dating.
Well, good for you! Trying a new approach is always a good idea because new patterns tend to result in different outcomes. It is also exciting because online dating will increase your opportunities to date and meet new people. However, opportunities alone will not produce the results you are looking for. In order to achieve new results in your life, you have to change the way you’re thinking.
One of the scientific laws of energy is the Law of Attraction that states: “Energy is attracted to energy of a similar frequency.” How this applies to you is simply this: You will manifest into your life that which you are thinking. It might sound mystical and strange, but it is very true and scientific.
There is also this saying: “We become what we think.” When you were born, your brain contained over 100 billion cells. Imagine that! Granted, these cells were somewhat nebulous and had yet to develop any real structure or pattern for your thoughts.
Over time, you developed synopses that became the road map to your thoughts resulting from environmental exposure. Everything you have seen and experienced has shaped and defined the patterns of your thoughts. These thoughts drive the engine of your actions.
When we fail, we fail largely due to our own self-limiting thoughts.
The dates you have been on lately have been disastrous, so you think: “Dating is such a waste of time.”
You haven’t been on a date in a while, and you conclude: “I must be undesirable.”
You have been in failed relationships in the past, which leads you to surmise: “Something must be wrong with me because I can’t make a relationship work!”
Can you see how harboring these thoughts would prevent you from developing a successful relationship? Well, if you feel this way, you need to cultivate an entirely different, more positive thinking pattern. If you think dating is a waste of time then guess what? It will be. If you think you are undesirable then you will approach dating without confidence and once again fulfill these thoughts by your own behavior. Finally, if you think you are doomed because you have failed in the past, then surely we are all doomed.
Get actively involved in changing how you are thinking. Start believing in yourself and having fun dating. Take this new mental approach and you will see your dating life change. The way to achieve a change in your thinking patterns is to use empowering affirmations.
Say to yourself, “Dating is not a waste of time. I am desirable and I can develop the relationship I want.” Use this affirmation out loud three times in a row several times a day and watch your attitude and confidence change.
Also, start smiling. After all, there is much to smile about. You are about to have a sensational time online, especially now that you are going to modify how you think about yourself and dating.
Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") has been a public consultant and a private counselor for over 15 years. A Cognitive Therapist, Radio host and Columnist, Devlyn maintains a thriving practice in Hollywood, where he counsels famous actors, musicians and captains of industry. His new book, Relationship Tools, will be available soon. You can hear Coach Steele live every Tuesday on LoveBeat Radio 1310 KXAM.com 7-9 PM. Arizona Time. Visit his website today.
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